Old, new, life, death, seasons, years, earth, heaven...

Whether I am in a seemingly perfect season or whether it is a survival mode season, I always find myself saying, "There must be more!"

Grandma Hall

A little over a year ago, I witnessed my grandma breathing her last breaths in the house I was living in (3 generations were living in my parents' house)...and just a month before, I held my niece moments after her birth. Life is short. James 4:14 says, "...yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." C.S. Lewis said, “100 per cent of us die, and the percentage cannot be increased.”  

Watching/living with someone I love in the last 5 weeks of her life didn't necessarily always leave me with "Life is so good!" type sentiments. My parents graciously opened their home, energy, resources, & time to serve her as she approached the end of her life, not knowing whether it would last a month or a couple years. It was hard caring for her, watching her mind slip, teetering back and forth from a gentle, lovely demeanor & dry wit, to a grumpy, "whatever" type mentality. She absolutely loved my mom. (Of course she did! Who doesn't?!) My mom was the all-star care-giver, for sure...and I was the 2nd string; probably more like the 8th string in my grandma's eyes...So when my mom was out on an errand or busy with something then I was on duty:) I would come into my grandma's room and enthusiastically ask if she wanted me to make her breakfast...And she'd growl, "Where is your mother."  Every. time. HAHA! It took me off guard at first - like, "Aren't grandparents supposed to adore their grandchildren?!" ...But after her almost daily question, I started smiling and holding in a chuckle when she said that, although she just peered at me even more perturbed. I knew that wasn't my grandma! It's just her mind & body dying... and the filter of niceness/appropriate behavior dropping to zero and her true desires transparent. I knew she loved me but it still completely shocked me the first time she said that, and then continued to say it! But even just a few hours later, she would joke with me or say something sweet, and I knew she had snapped back into herself.

It was such a tender, heart-heavy day when she died - it took us all by surprise since she had sort of perked up and been jolly. It wasn't graceful nor elegant, but such is life sometimes. She completely lost control of her body, as it was shutting down for good, and her tongue was hanging out of her mouth. My dad got to hold her hand during that time and thank her for being his mom!! I wasn't in the room, so I don't know exactly what he said, but before her pulse shut down for good, she had a tear drop from her eye. Ahh, what a sweet ending to her earthly life and such a gift that he had already come home from work and could be there with his mom! I think her tear was especially sweet because she wasn't the typical teddy-bear type grandma. She was a tough one - grew up in a family of 6 on a farm during the depression...Very loving and ultra supportive, but not gushing, ya know? I had never seen her teary, much less cry. What a sweet day the Lord gave us all. And how thankful we are for her life and love!

Death and new life are a definite part of this gig we're born into! I have no hope to share other than hope in Jesus.

I know for Stephen and me, we couldn't be more excited to start a new year. Thank you, Lord!
I'll be posting soon about my 2014 sponsors - stay tuned! 
I'm thrilled with how 2014 is already starting out. Thanks for reading, and God bless you today.
bethany